[4:34] Men are in charge of women because of that with which God has preferred the one over the other, and because of what they expend of their property. Therefore righteous women are obedient, guarding in the unseen because of what God has guarded. And those you fear may be rebellious, admonish them, and share not beds with them, and strike them. If they then obey you, do not seek a way against them. God is ever High, Great.
He singled out men for strength and then increased their burden, for the burden is in accordance with the strength. The admonition is for hearts and aspirations, not for the lower selves and bodies.
And those you fear may be rebellious, admonish them, and share not beds with them, and strike them: i.e. increase your correction of them gradually and with kindness, for if the matter can be reconciled with admonition there is no need to use the rod to strike. The verse contains the good manners of spousal companionship.
Then He said: If they then obey you, do not seek a way against them. It means if she stops acting in a way that is injurious to the relationship and returns to obedience, do not seek revenge on her for what has happened in the past and do not hold back from accepting her excuse or be unyielding towards her.
It is said do not seek a way against them in going beyond the measure of what you deem necessary in your punishment.